Her..

The anger inside is building.
I can feel it,
crawling through my heart,
surrounding my blood vessels with darkness.
Carving its name into my veins.
Creeping up through my throat.
Its presence, in such a state of vividness.
I can almost taste it in my mouth.
Twisting my words,
and personifying my fears.

I unwillingly leave it to grow and flourish
inside of my already rotting carcass.
Eating away at the remnants of my sanity.
Clawing out the soul.
And embodying my will with an everlasting void.
But my exterior shows no sign of damage.
The darkness...
it hides too well.

The clock moves at the speed of light.
It starts to slip.
My grip on reality is losing its strength.
I have no anchor to hold me down.
Gravity seizes to exist.
In this moment, I am nothing.
Like a speck of dust, blowing in the cold wind.
Like a dying leaf, falling off a well aged tree.
Like the sad reality an ant has to face
when it is accidentally crushed by an oblivious human being.

I want these emotions to end.
I want them to leave my body and soul in peace.
The only way..
is to bring that peace to myself.
I step onto the edge, waiting for a sign.
Anything, to let me know that I am ready.
Ready to leave this world of pain and suffering.

Just as I shift my weight towards the fall,
something pushes me back.
A presence so pure,
and yet, so radiant.
A presence i never expected to turn up.
It caught me by surprise,
and it made me smile,
both on the inside and outside.
That presence,
was Her.

She held my hand, and lead me through a path.
A path which I never thought I could ever face with anybody.
We broke through the walls.
We climbed over the harsh, rocky hills.
We swam across the unforgiving seas.
And we emerged, beaten and scarred,
but still she never let go of my hand.
Even if her grasp almost slipped away,
I still held on
as tight as I possibly could.

She cleansed me of the darkness.
She removed the fear and anger inside me.
She helped me evolve.
Before I met her, I was a boy.
But when she first held my hand,
I knew that she could help me become a man.

I am still not there yet,
but at least I know that the darkness is fading.
I can feel it oh so well.
This feeling I have longed to feel
ever since I felt the anger building.
It is a feeling i have grown to love so much.

All I can do for now is hope.
That she will not let go of my hand.
Even if she does,
I will learn to accept it.
It will be difficult.
But i am willing to face it.
Because I will never let go of hers.

As she opened her soul to me,

I started to see the sadness in her eyes.

All the pain she has been through.

All the heartbreak she had faced.

She has been through a lot.

Things that nobody could even imagine.

The scars remain,

But at least her pain is gone.

Still, days remain,

where the pain redirects itself back to her.

But in the end,

She always pulls through.

This girl,

victimized by the world,

her heart still in pieces,

has managed to make it through everything.

She deserves better,

she deserves to be treated like a princess.

She deserves to feel wanted, to feel like there is no pain to look back at.

She deserves to be loved.

I may not be the sharpest knife in the set.

I may not be the cleanest needle on the syringe.

I may not be the prettiest potato in the bag.

But I know that I want her to be happy.

And I want to be  the one who can always make her happy.

She deserves it.

Oliveu.